4/04/07
Welcome to the Kingdom of Cleavage

3/28/07
Heroes in a half-shell!

3/21/07
Plants are like green babies

3/14/07
The Internets save lives

3/07/07
Hobbit feet

2/28/07
Basically I am the only good driver

2/21/07
Cooking is easy

2/14/07
These days I love cheerleaders

2/07/07
Why am I so fat?

1/31/07
Non-cat column

1/24/07
It’s cold

1/17/07

I read magazines

1/10/2007
I am always late

1/3/07
Gamer chicks are hot

12/20
Ask Jessica

12/06
JAM

11/29
Pumpkin pie

11/01
Gremlins is not scary

11/15
Dentist

11/10
Ikea!

10/25
Those durn possums

10/11
A beautiful wedding

9/27
Cap and gown time

7/26
Don’t ask.

7/19
How does Dante get such hot women?

7/12
I love him because he loves monkeys

7/5
Boys are silly and can’t drive

6/28
He’ll rue the day

6/26
Hot sports opinions

6/21
I can’t cook

6/14
Golf is more surreal than I thought

6/7
Mavericks memory lane

5/31
Dolphins of ill repute

5/24
Steve Nash, why have you forsaken me?

5/17
I go through a lot of computers

5/10
Flowers hard

5/3
Don’t drive so fast, or I’ll punch you

4/26
Can’t sleep, clowns will eat me

4/19
Highway hypnosis

4/12
Lies, lies, lies

4/5
The neighborhood association will be calling

3/29
Be sure to tip your waitress

3/22
Got reams of hate mail from vegetarians for this one

3/15
I am a fixture of Star magazine

3/8
Get out of my way, rich people

3/1
Roll bounce

2/22
Rock out with your vodka out

2/15
Candy egg yolks!

2/08
Guard your trash or I will steal it

2/01
Simon is … MY SECRET

1/25
I yank him around by his toenails

1/18
Free beer for only $20

1/11
My memoirs will BURN YOUR RETINAS

1/4
Come visit Shallow Ellum

12/28
Eff off. I’m watching TV

12/21
Buy me a pony.

12/14
Merry, lonely Christmas!

12/7
Let’s all party at the tow yard

11/30
A short trip to the gutter

11/23
I’m thankful that I’m not dead

11/16
Yay I’m rich!

11/09
My cats are very, er, carefree

11/02
Jan Brady and I go way back

10/26
I want his bourbon

10/19
Everybody clap for the Real World

10/12
Go local sports team!

10/05
I deserve stuff

9/28
You never forget your first

9/21
New phone adventures!

9/14
Furniture shopping is rough on us

9/7
Cats everywhere

8/31
My hair makes me want to dye

8/24
Broken air conditioner blues

8/17
Come to my party

8/10
My boyfriend’s unfortunate hair

8/4
Ikea blows yer mind

8/3
Picnic table of doom

7/27
Old and in the way

7/20
Too much butterbeer

7/13
Sofa king great

7/6
My butt is too big

6/22
Movies have just gotten obscene

6/15
What your gifts say to dad